Various tidbits of advice I was given througout my life.
“Always wear a condom”
–Nancy smith, Health Teacher
It took a while for me to figure out she meant to do this only while having sex.
“Aim for the head, always assume he’s wearing a vest.”
– Derrick McIntyre, Army drill sergeant
Extremely useful or completely worthless, depending on which side of town you live.
“Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear, well he eats you. "
– The Big Lebowski
As far as I’m concerned, the zen-like wisdom of The Dude has rendered the Tao Te Ching completely obsolete.
“Wear Sunscreen”
– Baz Luhrman, director
The long term benefits of wearing sunscreen are well documented.
“The key to avoiding hangovers is to keep drinking”
–David Thoma, college buddy
This actually works....sorta.
“This ‘Wine for Dummies’ book will answer all your questions”
– Sandra Levitt, wine store owner
I like being a dummy....it means I can buy a $4 bottle of wine with a cartoon character on the label and not think there is anything wrong with that.
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