70's TV

Battlestar Galactica
Despite being relatively obscure, this show was the center of one the of largest advertising campaigns in television history. I don't know anyone who has never heard of it, even if they don't know anything about it. Despite the cheesy effects, the premise of the show is kind of terrifying. The plot revolved around genocidal cyborgs who commit a nuclear holocaust against humanity, then hunt down the survivors like rabid dogs. Those very same genocidal cyborgs were featured on children's lunch box's and underoo's! One thing that always struck me as odd was how humanity seemed to find plenty of time for casual dating in between combat air patrols. In every episode, someone always got heartbroken or found new love. It's comforting to know that even in the future, holocaust refugees frantically fleeing from intergalactic genocide, will still put getting laid at the top of their priority list.

Starsky and Hutch
In the 1970's, law enforcement partnerships included a by-the-book, straight laced type and a moody, "what the captain don't know won't hurt him" type. But we are too worried about hurt feelings and hostile workplace lawsuits to ever let such things happen now. And these mis-matched cops usually knew a streetwise black man to give them information about the criminal underworld of the city, but the CRIMESTOPPERS hot line cut out the middleman. And this criminal informant not only spoke jive, but dressed extravagantly and spent money like a pimp with a week to live! But the economic meltdown has pretty much ensured that isn't going to happen again anytime soon. And forget stock police cruisers. They drove gas guzzling muscle cars with high compression ratios, but the environmentalists ruined those too (along with everything else). I blame the lack of all the above conditions for our soaring crime rates in this country. That, and crack.

All in the Family
Good ol' fashioned American racism does no get any better than this, folks! Blacks, Jews, Mexicans, and even women...Archie Bunker hated them all! Name any issue that has ever gotten someone's panties in a bunch and you will find it in this show: Racism, sexism, antisemitism, crime, immigration, civil rights, economic class war. The beautiful thing was this show depicted all of this without any politically correct BS! Almost every single ethnic slur I ever learned was from this show. When this show was on the air, it was the one of the edgiest shows that was constantly pushing the boundaries of what could be gotten away with on TV. Now, it's shown on Nick at Night right after "Leave It To Beaver". The long road to panty un-bunching has begun, my friends.

Kung Fu
In the 21st century, anyone who wandered around the western half of the North American continent, standing up for justice using advanced kung fu techniques, would be considered criminally insane. But in the 19th century, this made you cool (even borderline hero). I am more than willing to overlook the fact that David Carradine is not even a little bit Asian. I am also willing to accept that "walking the Earth" was a perfectly acceptable career choice back then. But I have always wanted to know why monks need to know martial arts? Catholic priests aren't really bad ass, and even the most radical Islamic imams don't actually do their own dirty work. But monks of Buddha, the most peaceful of all religions, can kill you 3 times before you hit the ground. Awesome, but perplexing.

M*A*S*H*
Who says war can't be fun? From cross dressing soldiers to old-timey helicopters, this show had it all! It depicted a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital during the Korean War. You heard me correctly, we actually had a war with Korea. Japan, Korea, Vietnam....that makes 3 wars with 3 Asian countries in 20 years. I would be nervous if I were China, until I realized that 66% of the time, the Asian countries won (sort of). Anyways, if I ever undergo major surgery, I want a smart ass surgeon like Hawkeye to do it. He had that witty bedside manner that could make invasive spinal reconstruction almost fun. And unlike Patch Adams, Hawkeye didn't need clown noses to do it!